Childebeast Art Continues

This is a small book created by Wix, the just-finished-7th-grade-going-into-8th-grade middle 'beast. The front is collaged with torn paper and aluminum foil. It's a fun composition of bold colors. The bright colors give the reader a glimpse of what's inside...which, to me, is the coolest part.

You open the cover and find this...

The red, blue and green pages each reveal a different portion of the poem. It's impressive, because, well, read on...

I was...
I am...
I will be...

I was surrounded by bars.
I am almost free.
I will be a free American.

I was uneducated.
I am loyal.
I will be a Marine.

I was average.
I am poor.
I will be wealthy.

I was delinquent. (His words...not mine.)
I am making progress.
I will be owning the world.

I was afraid of the dark.
I am better.
I will be fearless.

I was bored in life.
I am bored in school.
I will be interested in many things.

The post tomorrow includes an interview with the author/artist. Trust me - you so don't want to miss it!

xx

My Favorite Part of School Ending

The thing I love most about the end of the school year...besides the welcome respite of quiet mornings - punctuated only with the occasional snore, word or phrase mumbled in sleep, or some noxious bodily function escaping from one of the boys - which are all totally tolerable when you don't have to literally pull uncooperative, growing bodies out of bed at ungodly hours, and can instead bask in the knowledge the house will remain peaceful for another several hours...

The thing I love most about the end of the school year is getting to see all the work the kids bring home. I love seeing the differences between the work they did at the beginning of the year, versus where they finished the year. All the progress they make throughout the year - that you don't really notice when you're with them every day - is so fun to see. Admittedly, my favorite part is looking at their art.

Since they only have art once a week here, all their art projects live at the school until the last day of school. (They do have an "auction" about a month before the end of the school year. They display the student art all around the school, and the parents are invited to have tea and cookies while looking at the art. At the end of the evening, parents are encouraged to "purchase" their child's art (aka, make a donation to the art department) - and the artwork is taken off the walls and "wrapped" safely in butcher paper for the student/family to take home.Very cool idea - I just haven't been able to attend one yet. Um, yeah - I'm already aware I won't be winning Mother of the Year any time soon. I'm even 99.9% sure I'm not even in the running for such title. Pfft!)

Waving good-bye to the Award that was never to be
(My crown is being polished)

If you don't make it to the auction, the art is sent home on the last day of school. Some projects are kept at the school for several years - and it's when those pieces come home that I totally flip. I'll share one of those projects with you tomorrow. Hey..wait!! Where y'all going?? Hey! Come bach here!! You are so not getting off that easy! I fully expect to see you bsck here tomorrow. Nice try, tho!

"___ _____Dolphin" (The elementary school mascot)
Done in acrylics on a paper bag, by the Princess - 3rd grade

(This post is much longer than anticipated...all that backstory, ya know) xx

One Talented Homie

Even tho this card is from a game, it seems to fit this post. Oh no wait...nope. That would be a Crappy Fact. So close!

Hear ye..hear ye..

Typing on three keyboards has been obnoxious - super-duper obnoxious - but I continued doing it because I didn't have a choice. Until now. I still don't have a choice, but there has been a new development. (Please hold your gasps.)

I am now down to two keyboards. The strangest thing happened today (she says sarcastically). Someone was back to his old tricks, no longer content to have taken my "b", my "n", my "question mark", my "space" (both literally and figuratively), my email, or kicking me off-line. Nope...he's now removed my access to the third keyboard. Oh - and he's back to changing my fonts...again. His obnoxiousness is second only to the grating pestiferous complaints of "I'm bo-o-ored" raised by the childebeasts, barely 40 minutes after being kicked off the school bus earlier today...with today being the last day of school.

And any mother - whose offspring actually made it to school age without being eaten - knows just how insufferable that situation is...while having a pretty good idea of how contemptible the ex's behavior is.

So. Here's the skinny. I love you all - deeply, even - but I'm sick-to-death of having to paste spaces between all my words. Seriously. I am more sick of pasting spaces than I am of handing out Ritalin to random, rambunctious childebeasts. Ok, so I'm not totally sick of that. Yet. (It's still early in the summer, remember.) Nah, this is probably closer to the repugnance I feel for having to hunt down a question mark, then highlight it, then copy it, then return to where ever I was working, then find my place, then paste the blasted question mark, every time I want to punctuate a dang question. Which a commoner shouldn't do...and let's not forget I'm the Queen. Does it really matter of what??

Until I get the new computating machine, I'm probably going to stick to posting things that don't require much yakking. Stop laughing...I'm serious. (Apparently some of you think this is an impossibility for me. Eh, who am I kidding?? So do I.) I'm going to at least try. And in that spirit, here is the first one.

A splendiferous painting, done in acrylics, by Middle Beast, 7th grade. I'm so proud!

Let me gloat. The moments happen so infrequently. And are so fleeting...

I Know I Am - but What Are You??

Rather than devouring my young, like I should have many years ago, I took this quick quiz. It's fun - and only 10 questions. Let me know what kind of mom you are by leaving me a comment.

Thanks, Carol, for linking to the quiz on your righteous blog, A Second Cup.

And yes, I'm still having to use THREE keyboards. ARGH! (But lucky for you, it makes me shut up a lot faster...amazing how that works!)

Make this a fantastically awesome week!

Seriously?? Saturday

Today's post is pure randomness...but everything revolves around, "seriously??", of "you can't be serious!" fame.

I've missed you all so much that I am going to great lengths to post. (Which, ironically, falls under the seriously?? theme for today.) I'm having to use three THREE keyboards to type. Would I lie?

Keyboard 1: Space bar
Keyboard 2: Letters N and B.
Keyboard 3: Everything else

Why should you care? Besides that being a terribly rude question (especially to be asking the QUEEN, mind you), you should care because every time you see a space, an n, or a b, you'll know I had to use a different keyboard. All this work, just for your reading pleasure. I'm sick in the head. Seriously!!

Hot Docs & Babies with "Flat" Spots

Since Steve Wilkos was a repeat on Thursday, I clicked over to check out the happs on "The Doctors". I don't know much about the show... except that the main doctor, Dr Travis Stork - aka Dr McHottie Man - is pretty difficult to ignore.

So, I'm only partially paying attention, when I experienced a true seriously?? moment. It occurred when I looked up and saw something like this.

No matter how hot the doc is that wanted me to put this thing on my kids head, it just wouldn't happen. Well, do you disagree?? Well, do you?? It isn't for some protective measure. It isn't even mandatory for some serious medical condition. Nope...it's a possible corrective measure for babies with plagiocephaly - which sounds much more serious than it is. Plagiocephaly = misshapen head. You know, the flat part of the head some babies get from laying on their back. (I'm serious here. Don't believe that some parents think a helmet is necessary for this...umm...disorder? Well, then, check out what this blogger says. And I won't even get into the whole decoration thing. Yes, even this blog - an art blog, no less - has its limits.) This DOC Band is used to straighten a babies misshapen head. It must be worn for 23 hours every day. For a minimum of 3 months. Seriously!! No guarantees it actually works...in fact, the makers of this beautiful "cap" must conduct another study in order to satisify the FDA's doubts - because as it stands now, every baby - whether the head has just a little flat spot, or there is a raging case of true plagiocephaly (where the head is so misshapen that the chest wall is involved) - gets one of these DOC Bands.

All I'm saying is that all three of the beasts had a case of flat-head...and not once did I worry, or visit Dr McHottie Man, or put them in one of these contraptions. Hmmm then again, maybe that explains a lot regarding the way they think. (Kidding - since flat-head is only cosmetic. Don't want to offend some poor first-time mother, who has a kid that's really facockted or something.) I do know this: had I known then what I know now, I would have gotten each of them fitted for one of these...and made sure I took lots LOTS of pictures. Even if Thing One, Thing Two, or Thing Three didn't have a flat spot to be found, I would have gotten DOC Bands for all three, just for picture purposes.

Colorado's Ridiculous Law

I have always been of the opinion that if something natural came from the sky, it was public property. Does anyone "own" the sunshine? I never thought so. HA I was apparently so wrong!

Just last week I became aware of a most interesting law on the ooks in these here parts.

Colorado is a pretty forward-thinking state. After living here for 16+ years this time (and spending a good portion of my childhood here), it's become impossible to ignore that the residents of this state pride themselves on being "progressive". And interested in the environment, as well. (This seems to grow exponentially in truth the closer one gets to Boulder.) Xeroscaping is a popular way to landscape. The courts view father's rights are equal to mother's rights. Recycling is a must. And drought has been a way of life for...well, ever since I can remember.

Living in this dry climate, recycling water has almost become a way of life. I actually know a woman who saves her bath water - and uses it to water her plants. (I only know one, thank goodness.) Seriously!! Water rights are the subject of long, drawn-out court battles. The farmers and their needs won't even be discussed here...but they have very real needs, also. Getting the idea?

I was stunned while watching the news last week. It's rained an abnormal amount here over the last several weeks. This unusually wet weather prompted the local news to run a cautionary story on a few different newscasts. They were warning people not to collect the rain water - from one's own property - because it's against the law. Seriously?? Yep - I'm not kidding.

Can you imagine trying to explain those charges to your cellie?

The Economy Sucks...Gas, Evidently
My hands are now tired, and my brain is fried(er), so I will leave this last seriously?? as a link. Summation: Two guys rob a bank...but don't fill the gas tank on their getaway car before their brilliant stunt. You can read the story here.

I'll try to post again soon - once my hands have recovered. Seriously.