No matter what anyone says, I am not a procrastinator. It may seem that way to others - but I learned a long time ago that I exist on "royal time". Much like mountain or pacific time but different. I've tried existing on the global time zones - they just don't work for me. I'm blaming it on having strange internal circadian rhythms. In no way is this my fault. (The first rule of being a Queen is to know when to accept responsibility for something...and when to just let it go and roll with it.) I choose to believe that the differences in my internal clock vs society's time frame is an inherent trait of royalty - rather than a character flaw. (Second rule of Queendom: one has "quirks" or "royal traits"...never character flaws.)
I pulled my art supplies apart some time ago...and have been trying like mad to reassemble them into a studio. In my dreams I see rows & rows of organized boxes and bins, all labeled to perfection. I can quickly grab what I'm looking for and easily complete royal masterpieces. Unfortunately, like many aspects of my life, my dreams don't exactly line up with my reality. For in my reality, you see, I cannot manage to be organized. I used to be - I have distant memories of being a clean freak before having my third child. I don't know what it is about that third one - they steal your figure and dramatically increase the difficulty of life. My third child - who happens to be my only daughter - is the paint in my brush. She's a special person who has decided she will be 27 different things when she grows up and that she will never move out of my house. (We'll see about that.) She also states - with firm resolve mixed with dramatic flair - I am her best friend and always will be. She is the Princess of this Castle and my diva-in-training. She will turn a worldly seven tomorrow much to my delight and sadness. I love who she is becoming - I grieve the loss of my "baby". But I digress.
I used to be organized and even anal-retentive about my house. Not so much anymore. So my emphasis on having a spotless home has evolved into interests of a more important nature: the kids, friends, my art. Besides - in twenty years, will anyone even remember (or care) that I didn't keep a perfect house? Well, anyone besides my mother??
Doubtful. I'm hoping my children remember the time we spend together. The fun we have. The silliness that pervades our cluttered home. My disdain for cooking...my love for teaching them to be creative. My inability to exist on the schedule society says I should keep...remembering, instead, that I can't help but be spontaneous and search out unconventionality. I can't help it...that's just who I am.
However, my instinctive nature is clashing with my desire to accomplish a beautiful studio. I know the space will be small - and I've battled with myself over which area of the house would be best suited to me and my creativity. The truth is that the dining room or my office would probably be the most spacious and conducive to creativity...but I have a love for my bedroom. Even when it's completely chaotic with supplies, papers the kids bring home from school and laundry, I'm still most comfortable within these four walls. So why fight that? I may have to continually run up and down the stairs to get supplies...but at least I'll be in a room I find warm, comforting, inspirational and comfortable...rather than in a cold - but spacious - dining room or office. At this point, however, WHERE is not nearly as important as getting it DONE.
So I am putting myself on a time limit. Yes, Queens sometimes require a bit of arm-twisting too. And as much as I hate it, I'm putting my foot down and forcing myself to accomplish the seemingly impossible.
It is currently Tuesday, February 20 at around 10:00 am. I am promising I will have my studio complete - or at least able to work in - in ONE WEEK. SEVEN DAYS. I will have my desk moved back in and my things at least semi-organized - enough to find what I'm looking for. I will have to think of a consequence for myself in case I don't follow through...and I suppose the best way to figure that out will be to ask my children. I highly doubt they would have any difficulty picking out a consequence for Mom. I'm also open to suggestions on here. If anyone has any ideas on what may be motivational, please let me know. I'm hoping it won't come to that...I'm hoping that I will have a wonderful new studio - complete with pictures to post here - by next WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 28th. I better put on my jewel-encased gloves, cover the crown with a 'do rag' and get to stepping. I'm going to be one busy Queen!
Make today creative!