Oh Snap - I'm Losin' My Crap!Yep, this will be an all-over-the-place post. Where I whine. I have so many things I want to post (I've been saying this for how long now?) - and the list seems to get longer everyday. But for today, my dear and loyal readers, I'm begging you to answer the question asked in the title...What is WRONG with me??
It's All Over the Map - and I Can't Get it Back!
It's All Over the Map - and I Can't Get it Back!
If I don't get a grip - quick - I'm gonna flip.
I will admit, thanks to Angelika, I have PMS. I think. Wait. Angelika didn't cause my PMS. She isn't even the reason for my PMS. A post she made just opened my eyes to the (extreme) possibility that PMS is my problem. What else could make a normally (semi) sensible Queen lose her jewels?
Here's the basic skinny. I've been beating myself up for not getting everything posted lately. It isn't like I can't fit it all in - I mean, there are plenty of days I don't get my rear around to posting. I have superb intentions - it just doesn't happen. It occurs to me that many things in my life are like that - I have the best intentions of finishing up the laundry. Of cleaning the house. Of...well, does it really matter what else? Point is, if we're grading on intentions or meant-tos, my chart is overflowing with gold stars. What's that you say? It's all about what we actually get done? Well forget it then. I suck at getting things done. I start out with a bang - and quickly end with a pfffft. My sizzle turns to fizzle. Why?
I really enjoy the bloghopping I do. I may not comment often, and I'll admit it's because I kind of consider dropping my EC as a sort of unofficial "I like your blog and came by for a visit today. Thanks for taking the time to post." thing.
As much as I adore the blogs I frequent, I'm beginning to feel a bit inadequate. I know I've gotten familiar with some really fascinating people by reading their blogs. But I'm feeling...well...deflated. I guess. I don't understand how you all do what you do - in such a short amount of time! How does that...happen?
I spend several hours dropping everyday. I don't consider it a waste of time - it's more like checking in on friends. I don't just drop my card on a blog and quickly move on. I read the most recent post, following any links included in the post. I follow things in the side bar. I look back at old posts (especially if it's a new blog I've found.) It can take me an hour to drop 10 cards. But even on the blogs I come across and don't care for, I still read up on. I want to make sure I'm giving the person a fair chance. I am just not able to drop and bolt.
To write a post for my own blog takes me a couple of hours, usually. (This would be due to my inability to pay attention for long. And my children's inability to let me pay attention to anything - besides them - for long.) I'm just not someone who sits down at the computer, pounds out a post in 5 minutes, and logs off. I cannot quickly put a post together.
And then we have my art. I have been in such a creative mood lately - but have I made anything? No. I've been glued to the computer. I have 3 swaps I'm in that I really need to make my stuff for...but I haven't yet. (Bad, bad, baaaddd me.) My creativity is much like my post-writing. It doesn't go quickly. I agonize over choices. I drag everything out. I play with the supplies, laying this here and that there - to see which option I like best. I care about the arrangement of things and firmly believe in quality over quantity. Maybe I'm not very talented - I can't draw and paint like John Wright, knit like Paige, design like Lisa, take pictures like Jo, or paint like Karen - so I have to work harder at it. It doesn't feel like work to me - I love it. Just don't expect me to be quick.
So this is my question. How in the world do all these amazing people get everything done every day?? How is it possible to drop 300 cards, catch up on the blogs your interesting online friends write, post (sometimes more than once!) to your blog every day, work on your craft, take care of your kids/pets/significant other, run a household, do everyday "life" stuff, some work outside the home, maintain a social life, attend religious services, cook, and remain sane?
I just don't get it. I can't create great things, blog, take care of the 'beasts, get to appts, do paperwork, blah blah blah (that's me, sparing you the exciting details) - all in one day. It isn't possible.
My house is thrashed, my hair needs coloring, my finger/toe nails are screaming for attention (and a coat of paint wouldn't hurt, either), my muse is hollering at me to create, I have a whole list of things to post. I have an ever-growing list of things I want to learn about blogging (getting more traffic, researching interesting topics to write about, moving up in the search engines), I have paperwork galore (most due last week), homework to help with, Woot Loot to mail, a new Woot Loot to come up with for May, and five domain names I registered four months ago, with no site up yet. I'm not advertising my art (or my website, which should be the place I sell my art, as well as cool items for artists/crafters) - then again, I'm not creating any new art, my laundry is piled to the ceiling (well, not quite...yet), and did I mention whore cat had 4 kittens about a month ago...bringing our total of cats to eight?
The new Hallmark card is out and I'm wanting to do the official "press release", as well as some big contest to get the word out and talk people into buying the card so we can win. I still haven't gotten a car, I have medical tests I should have scheduled months ago, dishes piled to capacity in the sink, and there are promises I've made to my blog designer, I haven't kept. (But I want to!!) I have commitments I'm not keeping up on, my poor art journal is only getting about 10 minutes a day (and that's just before I zonk out at night), I haven't taken pictures of the things I'm going to offer on my new website (TheCraftyQueen.com) - and the pictures I have taken, have yet to be uploaded or "polished".
There are some new techniques I want to play and experiment with, but haven't. I want to get a book published, don't have a clue where to start there. I want to get back to my business of art - instead of just talking about it.
Did I mention the oldest 'beast is in quite the predicament I need to deal with? He's had an IEP since pre-school because he was diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD when he was two. Yes, I said 2. He has required special help in school...well...forever. He's never not had that. Due to the poor way Colorado deals with kids who have special needs (ie - whether they are ready or not...whether they understand or not...whether they've done the work required to move to the next grade or not...they will NOT hold a child with an IEP back - so I'm left to try to help my now almost 16 year old son learn how to survive...with an education that amounts to basically, a FOURTH GRADE level - and he's going to be a junior next year)...So, due to the poor way Colorado deals with kids who have special needs by passing them on, no matter what, we have a problem. Special ed - and all services going along with special ed and IEPs - suddenly STOPS in 11th grade. POOF! He will be going from a self-contained classroom (which he's not doing well in), to no services whatsoever. Been nice knowin' ya - good luck!
I went to the high school he attends - and it's huge. Not big. HUGE. College campus-like huge. 4,500 or so students. And he'll be expected to take "normal" junior level classes. Without supervision or help. He won't make it.
So I've been looking into online high schools. Why the drastic switch? Because our only other option is a ridiculous program the school recommends - which is our only option through the school district. Basically, this program is a place where they dump the kids who have problems (mostly legal and drug problems), and babysit them for 2 years. The kids go to school from something like 8-12. There really aren't any expectations for these kids. And the way I see it? I've got two years left to get this boy where he needs to be in order for him to be a successful, productive adult in society. I have aspirations for him to work somewhere other than McDonald's or WalMart for the rest of this life...which is the track he's on now.
Knowing I'm the only person who seems to struggle with getting it all done (and so quickly!), along with oldest son's education dilemma, has worn me out. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm...you get the idea. I just want to...get it all done! lol And I don't get why I can't. What is wrong with me that I can't get everything done like everyone else? What am I doing wrong? What is the secret no one's ever told me?
Seriously, I want to know. How do you make sure you get everything accomplished everyday? What is your secret to making sure you have time to blog, time to create, and time for the fam? Someone has got to tell me. I'm counting on you guys. I need to learn some time management tips. So spill 'em. This may feel like PMS right now (or may even be PMS) - but it's about to turn into a long term bad mood. And no one wants that.
Oh my. Could this have been any whinier? Geez! Not even any fun pictures to look at. Sorry. Normal programming to return tomorrow. I hope.