It's late - but not too late. It's 10:36 pm and I have something to say, a "Friday Frustration". I've seen the meme - but now, for the live of me I can't remember who has it posted. I suppose one can't have beauty and brains...so I'll have to settle for a nicely polished crown, since I have neither.
*EDIT: After searcHinG fOr OVER AN HOUR<> IT"S OVeR ON CONVERSATIONSWITHMOM>COm. (sEE WHAT I mean about him meSSING WIth mY TYpINg??) Anyway, THANK YOU, cONVerSAtIONSWITHMOM>COM _ I APPRECIATE YOU COMING UP WITH THIS MEme!!
I am perturbed. Not the I'm-annoyed-but-will-get-over-it kind - the I-want-to-jack-someone-up sort. There is a difference. A big difference.
I have been dealing with an ex...ex what? Boyfriend sounds so silly at my age. Especially when that "boyfriend" was married. (Oh, the drama!) So we'll just call him ex I guess. I've been dealing with this ex doing crazy things to mess with me. And not in the good sense of the word, the kind that surrounds me in life. I'm talking criminally insane type things.
He has hacked into my computer. AGAIN. He apparently thinks this is quite funny...I don't. I think it's sad that a 40-something year old man gets his kicks by silently logging into my computer (and without permission, I might add) and screwing around like a 5 year old.
I will get on my computer and start to type something, only to have him remotely control my computer - and randomly change things as I type. For example, I'll be typing along...and some of my letters (or portions of my sentences) will have the caps lock on. But I didn't touch the caps lock button. Or I'll suddenly - mysteriously - be kicked off the Internet. Or my settings will be changed - so when I click on one bookmark, the entire folder of bookmarks opens. When 20 or 30 bookmarks try to open at once, the computer just clogs up and freezes. I have to turn the whole system off and start over. But the little window that pops up - the one that says "Your last Firefox session closed unexpectedly...Would you like to return there?" or whatever it says, just taunts me. I can't go back to where I was - because not only is the tab open that I want open, so are 500 others.
He's made it so I can't get my email open - Gmail tells me there is a pop-up blocker on my system and I have to remove it before I can open email. Nice.
Now he's made it so everything I click on opens in a new window. Not in the same tab, like it should - and not even in a new tab. It's a whole new window. So I have 372 windows open before I know it.
I have a feeling he's behind the whole system crash I experienced. He knows I'm not the most adept computer person...and he is. So he's got me there.
What I don't understand is why. Why would someone do this? It's crazy to me that you can "supposedly" love someone, then result to irritating them in such juvenile ways. When a relationship is over, it's over. I have no hate for the person - it's more of a...a...nothingness. I really cared for this guy at one point - and was hoping we could remain friends. That seems almost impossible at this point. I don't want to participate in ridiculous games...I don't perpetrate them and don't want to be on the receiving end. I haven't done anything to deserve this. I have not contacted him - and haven't "egged" him on. We are in different states...1,000 miles apart...I have my life, my kids, my craziness...he has his wife, his kids, and whatever he's up to. What prompts someone to sct like this? (Maybe it's my exceptional beauty? My magical personality? The blinding shine on my crown??)
I was going to ignore all this - and hope it goes away. But the last straw happened when I found a comment from "Anonymous". It was totally inappropriate. And gross. And completely disrespectful. I have removed it (so there's no use trying to find it lol) - but am concerned about what he'll do next. I want him to move on. To find happiness. To spend his time doing things that fill his life with purpose - not calculating how to hurt, or inconvenience, me or anyone else. This has been going on for...I don't even know how long. Many months. Going way back to several years ago, when we were together, and he put a keylogger on my computer. I was angry - not only for the lack of privacy (I am an adult...with no rings on my fingers...the last I checked) but also because the keylogger caused me to lose the job I had at the time.
Ok. I suppose I've vented enough. I'm just tired of this whole thing. I think once a relationship is over, that's it. Done. Maintaining a sort of friendship is fine (if both parties want that) - but it's no longer the other person's business what you're doing. I'm not speaking out of both sides of my mouth - I don't think it's any of my concern what he's doing, either.
And onto other subjects...the Farrah Fawcett...movie? Show? Biography? Documentary? just ended - and I was surprised at how much I liked it and was affected by it. I think it gave great insight into a cancer battle - and was more honest and raw than I expected. If you missed it and have the chance to see it in a re-run, I would recommend it. I was doing other things while it was on, so I didn't sit glued to the TV, but I never do. I can't sit and just watch a movie or TV show. I have to be on the computer, cleaning, working on art, etc while I watch. I'm too fidgety to just sit still.
What do you think - about crazy ex's? Have you had an ex that wouldn't let go? What is the most "unstable" thing an ex has inflicted on you? Did you watch Farrah? If so, what did you think? If not, why? (Could it be that you have a life and actually go out, or do something on Friday night??) I'd love to know!
PS - IF I disappear, it's because he's done something else to my computer. Nice that I have to say that, isn't it??
Thursday 6:30 am After waking up childebeasts, I have fallen asleep (sitting up in bed) after being up all night due to back pain.
#1: Being played by middle son, the one who just turned 13 earlier this week. #2: Played by the Princess, my 9 year old daughter. Queen: Er...umm...I'll be playing myself.
Queen: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz #1: Mom! MOM! MOOOOOMMMMMM!!! (Screaming like a girl) Queen: Huh? What? (Thinking house is on fire while in sleep stupor) #1: OH MY GOSH!! MOOOMM!!! COME HEEERRREEE!! Queen: (Walks to top of stairs, dreading what I'll find after hearing that scream) What? What's wrong? (#2 is right on my heels) #1: MOM! Squeak is HUMPING Noodles. Queen: (Caught totally off-guard) What??? #1: Mom, Squeak is HUMPING Noodles.
(Cat moans/screeches) Queen: What?? What's going on down there?? (Beginning to descend stairs) #1: Mom, HURRY!! Get Squeak OFF Noodles! Queen: (Hits bottom stair just in time to see one cat mounting the other) What the...??? #1: Mom, they are HUMPING. (#2 is following Queen downstairs, but literally stops in her tracks as she reaches the bottom stair) Queen: Oh my gosh...#1, what do we do?? (Why do I seek advice from my children in times like this??) #1: We have to get them apart. MOM!! HELP!! They...are...HUMPING. (Note: He keeps repeating the word "humping" - saying it really loudly - with a sort of staccato effect.) Queen: Well, I don't know what to do!! Help me! (Looks more closely at very unmodest cats) I'm not pulling him off! YOU do it! #1: I'm not touching them...Mom, get them apart. (More cat moaning/screeching) Queen: Squeakers! Come here RIGHT NOW Squeak!! She's your SISTER! Oh my word. What are you DOING? SQUEAK!! #1: That isn't working, Mom - Pull him off!! Queen: No! You do it! #1: NO! You're the Mom!! Queen: But I'm not a vet! I don't know what to do! SQUEAK!! Get OFF your SISTER!! #1: Yeah, Squeak! Quit HUMPING your sister! Queen: (Approaches cats carefully, wishing I was anywhere but here) #1, I'm going to pull him backwards - then you grab Noodles and take her upstairs, ok? #1: Ok, but HURRY! They are HUMPING!! Queen: I know that. Get ready! (Queen hesitantly touches Squeak while saying...) Come on, Squeak! Help me out here - GET OFF!! (pause for a few seconds) OH NO!! (Queen does whole body shake) I can see his... #1: His what??? Queen: Just HELP ME! (Not knowing what else to do, begins running at Squeak) #1: Ok, good! They aren't HUMPING anymore!! Queen: Well GRAB Noodles!! Squeak, stay there!! Leave her ALONE!! #1: I don't want to touch Noodles - she was just HUMPED!! Queen: Suck it up - take her upstairs. NOW! #1: NO!!! Queen: Man up, #1! Do you want him to do that to her again?? I! DO! NOT! WANT! MORE! KITTENS!! #1: Why not? Queen: Just take Noodles upstairs! (While glaring at #1 for even asking that question)
Cats are separated by my bedroom door. Things finally quiet down.
#2: (Ten minutes later, she's been totally silent. While eating Fruity Pebbles...) Mom, what's HUMPING??
The most incredible artist friend of mine, Lisa - who has these I-need-one-of-everything designs over at Alterity Art - tagged me. It's taken me forever to respond - not that anyone should be surprised by that. Between the Queen of ALLL Things Award and this, you'll know more about me than anyone should be forced to know! (Thanks, Lisa - this was fun)
Here's how it works: Answer the questions below then tag 8 other blogs of your liking and ask if they would do the same.You must let them know you have tagged them and to link to the blog that had tagged them. Here goes: 8 Things I'm Looking Forward To: 1) Getting a car!! 2) Having a few minutes to myself this weekend while the kids visit Grandma. Yay!
3) Making some new art and lots of fun new jewelry.
4) The end of the school year (admittedly, this is a double-edged sword!) - so I don't have to get the kids up every morning. Starting at 5. Ugh. 5) The more "relaxed" pace of summer 6) Finding some balance in life that doesn't include the use of alcohol, Valium, crack, or men in white coats 7) Finding fun new ways to use all my vintage beads & baubles 8) Doing more fun things with the kids (since it seems like we never do anything fun)
8 Things I Did Yesterday: 1) Got up at 2:30 am 2) Worked on swaps that have to be mailed by Thurs 3) Played with the kittens 4) Filled out at least 912 (additional) forms for Disability 5) Leafed through several great art books 6) Watched House (what's up with House going to a psych hospital??? Stupid season finales lol) 7) Brushed my teeth 8) Helped the Princess with homework 8 Things I Wish I Could Do: 1) Figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Oh. What's that you say? I am grown up? How did that happen? I still feel like I'm 12 most of the time! (Except I have bigger boobs now. Ok, so everything is bigger now. Whatev.)
2) Organize/clean the house
3) Keep the house organized/clean for more than 2 minutes
4) Find a way to make money from my art/jewelry
5) Be more patient
6) Magically make the laundry do itself - and put itself away
7) Get the kids to automatically pick up after themselves (No one said this had to be things that one can actually achieve)
8) Learn HTML/CSS
8 Things or Shows I Have Watched: 1) House 2) My Name is Earl 3) About 400 Disney Channel shows 4) Bonnie Hunt 5) Gangland 6) Quilting Arts 7) Role Models (stupid movie) 8) Good Morning America
Okay...the blogs I've tagged are (some of my faves), in no particular order:
I have 3 childebeasts...and had my labor induced all 3 times. That information, combined with the other tidbits you've already gathered about me and my...um...serial punctuality...makes this post totally apropos.
May 11th is a busy day in my realm of reality. My middle 'beast's birthday is the 11th. My mom's birthday is the 11th. When I was married, my mother-outlaw's birthday was May 11th. (Probably still is.) And Mother's Day falls on May 11th every few years. Crazy times, even for Queen Less than Normal. (Me.)
My little baby boys...who are no longer little or babies anymore!
I recovered enough from my pity party to get online for a few minutes Monday - with the full intention of posting this on the correct day...but couldn't find the right pictures. Since my computer crashed two days ago, I've had to find alternative ways to do everything. So it took me three hours to figure out how to save my scans...and another 45 minutes to figure out how to open Gimp. Oy!My middle son, Wixster (who, oddly enough still allows me to call him that) - who has always been my sweet, sensitive, kind, caring, funny little guy, isn't my little guy anymore. Then again, he isn't very sweet, sensitive, kind, or caring anymore, either. He is still funny, though.
Wixster's first birthday.
Originally due on the oldest 'beasts birthday - which is ten days later - until recently, he's always been my easiest kiddo. We've always told him he should be a stand up comic - because he's so funny. He just looks at the world in a skewed way - always has.
Wix found some mailing labels sent to me from Easter Seals when he was about 18 mos -
and covered himself in them.
He is friends with everyone, tries to make others happy, and is a mean video game player. (Maybe that has something to do with him spending every spare second on video games??) He talks in his sleep...so I know he even plays video games in his sleep. Since he is also a true lover of animals (which is why we have so many...thanks, Wix), he changes his mind hourly on whether he will be a veterinarian or a video game programmer when he grows up.
Around 16 months
He's the only kid I have who will put himself to bed when he's tired. It doesn't matter what is going on or what we're doing, when he's had enough he quietly brushes his teeth and goes to bed. When he was younger I'd have to check on him after he fell asleep - he was constantly sneaking out of bed to grab every pet we had, and put them in bed with him. That is totally fine with the cats - not so much with the turtle or hermit crabs. Wix - and the anecdote I just mentioned - are the sole reasons we no longer have an ant farm. I think it took a full day for all the ants to crawl off his bedding after the ant farm broke...but significantly less time for a freaked out mother wielding a vacuum cleaner at 2 am, to get the ants out of my bed.
(Thanks for telling me it broke when you climbed into bed with me that night...it was a true pleasure to wake back up, a few minutes after your arrival, wondering why I felt like creepy-crawlies were all over me. A true gift to flip on the light...and find both of us covered in ants. It's been 8-9 years since that happened...and I still haven't forgotten that little incident. Oh - and this is only one of the reasons I'm saving pictures of you in the bathtub...you never know when a future girlfriend and I will be sitting around, talking - and those pictures may make an appearance.)
What it's like to try to talk to him now
He's no longer my little baby, much as I wish he was. He's grown 4 inches since Christmas...which means I now look up at him when I talk to him. Since I'm 5'11", I figure the sky is the limit as far as just how tall he'll end up.
Such a family resemblance
This now-13-year-old is changing quickly. He's not as "buff" as his older brother, but he's just as physical. Into basketball, wrestling, and (as of last night) wanting to play football for the high school he'll go to in a year, he's highly competitive. As long as these activities don't interfere with his video game playing.
A total pool shark minnow
It's never dull being his mom. Never. I noticed just how grown up he's becoming while he was eating his chosen birthday dinner of sushi...and I was trying not to gag. He's adventurous and has the funniest laugh in the universe. He chose an electric guitar and amp as his birthday present...and is trying to put a band together - even though he's only had one lesson at this point.
(I think the Jonas Brothers - who Wix can't stand - has something to do with the lure of the guitar.
Or maybe it's the lure of the girls to the guitar!)
My handsome now 13 year old
Happy birthday, sweet Wix. (Even if you hate it when I make you stand still long enough to take your picture!) I hope his wonderful spirit never changes...he's the only one I'm pretty sure will visit me in the asylum home.