What is Smaller than the Head of a Pin?

Normally I am not a big fan of posting videos...I figure if someone wanted to see a video, they'd be a You Tube, not on The Queen Speaks. I decided to post this video, however, because it is art-related...not to mention fascinating. Amazing. Unbelievable.
It is inspiring - someone who can't read or write can do this? I can read and write, but I don't see myself starting on something like this anytime soon. (Can't you just picture it with the childebeasts running around?? Cha!) This man will do and say things you're not likely to see or hear again. For example, it can NOT be good to have an Alice in Wonderland inside you. (His statement, something to the effect of, "I think I inhaled Alice in Wonderland" is something I guarantee you'll never hear again. Ever.)
And to the "private collector" (you won't believe how much he bought the collection for!)? I hope you invest in some serious tissues - not to mention some really great cold medicine. Sneezing would be disastrous! Just look at what happened to Alice in Wonderland - and the guy was only breathing!

Click on Charlie

Woot Loot Winner for March

C*O*N*G*R*A*T*U*L*A*T*I*O*N*S !!

Isn't showing up a few minutes late for the party considered fashionable? Well then...

HELLO! Wa-pow!

Since I'm a full day late, I must be the fashionista of the universe! Then again, my life runs on perpetual un-punctuality. Enough of that...let's get to the good stuff! Thanks to help from random.org, we have a winner! Let's hear it...WOOT!

Random Sequence Generator

Here is your sequence:

• 51

Timestamp: 2009-04-03 06:49:40 UTC

So WHO was #51??

Elsie says:

03/13/2009, 07:46:00 AM

“Turquoise and butterflies, flying around my wrist, The color is mesmerizing, with butterfly kisses!

So very magical!

Awww, thanks! I've already sent Elsie an email - and I hope she's as excited about receiving the faux-turquoise bracelet as I am about sending it to her!
After reading the comments you guys posted, my heart is light - and I really wish I could give every one of you Woot Loot. I've said it before, but it's worth reiterating: I have the BEST readers in all the land! (Which includes all the kingdoms on the planet.)

Thank you, for making Woot Loot such a great experience for me. Something has happened I never expected - and that is, I've been given more than I could ever repay. It's such a great feeling to hear positive comments on things you create. So THANK YOU.

My next post will include April's Woot Loot - and this one is really exciting. I can't wait to post about it - so be sure to check back tomorrow and find out what Loot is up next. It will be totally worthy of a huge WOOT! There are several other topics I want to cover also...so it's a busy time at Castle Crazy. Don't forget to drop by, say hi, and see whazz up!

Congratulations, Elsie - enjoy the bracelet!! xx

You Did... Say What?? Part II

Part I of this post can be found by clicking here.

Part I is not exactly where I intended to go when I first sat down to write this post. No, I was going to share with you some information that came to my attention.
Remember the Princess discussing with me how "inappropriate", "unflattering", and "embarrassing" my wardrobe is? How she cannot stand to be seen with me in public - and that, according to her very dramatic discussion with me, it's even affecting her at home?
Back around Christmas, I won a copy of Clinton Kelly's book Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else from Modern Lady Etiquette. (If she could only see the wardrobe the Princess has deemed disastrous, I'm sure she would faint. Politely.)

The Princess and I have had many conversations since the arrival of that book - usually revolving around my need to read such a publication. When I turn the tables, and mention to her that altho she may not approve of my dress, there are many actions I don't particularly appreciate that she and her brother 'beasts take great delight in...the demand to "pull my finger" (or the lack of warning), the "booger wall" I recently came across (can you say, "eeeewwww"??), the previously discussed "Man Mission" they are on...the list is much longer than I can go into here.
No matter which flagrantly UNmannerly behavior I point out, in her mind there is nothing as horrible as my wardrobe. (May I just take a moment to quickly point out that all this wardrobe discussion is coming from a girl who wears orange, pink, purple, and red...all in the same outfit?? Or doesn't understand why I won't let her wear her pj's to school? Or thinks it is just fine to wear two different shoes to church??)
When the Princess is home sick - which she is quite often, due to her asthma - she likes to watch What Not to Wear. Throughout the show she'll call me upstairs repeatedly, shocked the woman featured hasn't been jailed due to her lackluster look. (In all fairness, some of these women go well beyond lackluster.) She is always quick to point out how I'm just as bad in my style choices. (Never mind I have a closet heaving with fantastic clothes I would love to wear, had my body not been wrecked by this illness.)
I got on the computer the other day, looking for an old email I had sent, when I came across something vedy intedesting. Before I share it with you, I have to tell you that as soon as I saw what it was, I knew where it came from.
I waited for her to get home from school before bombarding her with questions. The story goes something like this...she was at home, sick, and watching What Not to Wear. (Of course, I was running up and down the stairs at a speed rarely seen by creatures other than roadrunners, trying to meet her "requests" [demands] for more sick-related items than one usually needs after open heart surgery.) An announcement at the end of the show caught her eye...which I imagine went something like, "If you know someone who could benefit from an intervention from Clinton and Stacy, whose wardrobe SUCKS OUT LOUD and causes you actual pain to look at them, then contact us!" This was all she needed. The battle cry had been launched and she quickly sprung to action.
With very little Internet experience, she admits to getting on the computer - and instead of sticking to her list of pre-approved sites, she ventured out (ALONE!) into the world wide web. She actually found tlc.com - the channel hosting What Not to Wear - and even more than that, found the show information. Not satisfied, she went on to search around tlc.com further - and amazingly found an email address for the show. She's never done anything like this before (to my knowledge) - and her tenacity floors me.

I never would have known she took it this far, had I not been looking for that email I sent several months ago. Ever since I found out what she did, she has asked me - no fewer than twice a day- if I've heard anything from Stacy or Clinton. Happily, my answer is always no...but what if that suddenly changes?? How many 9 year olds do you know who would carry things this far??
Without anymore conversation, I will share with you the email I found. I don't even know what else to say about it. Life with the childebeasts is never dull. That's for sure!

This is the actual email the Princess sent to someone at TLC. Can you imagine??
my mom needs a NEW wardrobe. she has a tragical wardrobe. help my mom. my mom needs new clothes. she always wears sweat pants and t shirts. and the t shirts are disgusting! she has nothing thats fancy. well nothing fancy that fits her. she needs new clothes. definitely new clothes. all she sleeps in is a t shirt and boxers. she needs help! she dyed her hair RED. she needs new clothes. help me. help my mom. help my mom get new clothes. my mom's name is katherine. she needs help. BAD.

The Real Cycle of Life

You Did...Say What?? Part I

(Yes, I'm just jumping into a post in an attempt to ignore that I have a whole list of topics next to my computer, waiting to be addressed. Yes, I'm just jumping in, pretending to ignore that I've let things slide. I'm no dummy - I'm finally putting the childebeasts tactics to use for my own good.)

Quick announcement: MY BLOG HAS TURNED ON ME. Since I know you hang on my every word, you'll recall how I screwed up my template, losing a lot of extra work I'd done on my blog. Behind the scenes kind of work mostly...except for the comments. And now they have silenced me. The comments won't let me post anything. No replies at all. I am reading your comments and have tried to respond, but my feelings are now hurt from being locked out so many times. A whole new experience for your viewing pleasure is in the works - and should be up shortly. That should fix my issues. (Should.)

(I do promise to catch up this weekend...but with them home due to snow, then on spring break next week, I've got ten days - straight - of all three home. And not nearly enough duct tape. Or Valium.)
On to the post for today... My health problems have caused me to gain quite a lot of weight. I have always been thin and never had to work at it. I could eat whatever I felt like eating and not gain an ounce. Now I can eat nothing and gain weight. So the other day, the Princess and I are talking...no, the Princess is discussing my wardrobe - or lack thereof - with me. She is telling me she can't stand the way I dress...and that she's sick of me wearing sweats, boxers, and old t-shirts all the time.

You see, about three months ago, the 'beasts decided Mom needs a man. No one consulted Mom on this - they just decided. It all began when I was wrapping the shower head with plumber's tape to try to stop it from blasting the entire bathroom with water. As the water sprayed me in the face, soaking me for the fifth or sixth time, the Princess declared, "Mom, that's a man's job."...huh? I have never been sexist about work - with one exception. A full mouse trap. THEN I declare it a man's job. (Only because those things freak me out.) I can fix an outlet, snake a toilet, and stop a leaky sink with the best of 'em...and I can do it in heels. (If someone has a gun to my crown.) So that was the day it was formally announced the Queen should no longer be single (apparently).

Just for the record, I don't know if I would want to be with
the type of man who would stick around this loony bin.
But that's just me.

Since that fateful day, running errands has become a new adventure. I must carefully plan out when - and where - I take the childebeasts. It was established years ago that the volume knob most people come fully equipped with, was not properly installed on my three. Oddly, all of them have exactly the same two settings: loud and LOUDER. When out in public with them, they go "on the hunt", as 'beasts do. And just like wild animal beasties, they are seeking fresh meat. Although they are not on the prowl for food, they are looking to devour fresh meat just the same. Without regard to our location - or the appropriate volume level - they will scout out the premises, noses on high alert as they carefully investigate their surroundings. I swear I try to keep them by my side. I tell them not to venture any further than a ten foot radius from my location. I even give them...the look. I'm not sure they see it as they push past me - but I would think they could at least hear me. They return to me briefly, only long enough to report on the men they've scoped out. I shush them and tell them to stop...which seems to only intensify this behavior. For if I don't listen to them, they go straight for the "kill". They will actually approach the man and begin the interrogation...usually with an opening line of, "My mom is single...are you?".

(I blush even just typing that.)

I've learned. When I see one of the childebeasts making a bee-line for a man, I turn and run. As quickly as my newly-overweight self will go. I have collected a nice selection of telephone numbers, though. Part II continued next time...

I Only Have Two Friends {sniff, sniff}

I was swamped all day, doing very UNroyal tasks. Laundry, picking up, etc. Aren't I supposed to have "people" to do that?

The one good thing I accomplished was finally getting an eye appointment. After months of not being able to wear my glasses (because they broke - and the Princess wouldn't let me wear them with the Band-Aid on them) and not being able to see, forcing me to ask perfect strangers what anything semi-distant from my face is, I finally went in, had the exam, and my glasses are on order. WOOT!

Public Service Announcements

Are you in the market for a cool new rug? Seeryus Mom and FLOR have you "covered" (hardee har har). Check out the cool rugs FLOR has - then enter the giveaway over at Seeryus Mom. It's open til April 13th @ 11:59 CST.
Then you need to run over to Momma's Reviews and enter their SUH-weet giveaway for a JVC Everio Series G Camcorder! You don't have as much time on this one - it only runs until Friday, April 3rd at 12 pm.