Part I of this post can be found by clicking here.Part I is not exactly where I intended to go when I first sat down to write this post. No, I was going to share with you some information that came to my attention.
Remember the Princess discussing with me how "inappropriate", "unflattering", and "embarrassing" my wardrobe is? How she cannot stand to be seen with me in public - and that, according to her very dramatic discussion with me, it's even affecting her at home?
Back around Christmas, I won a copy of Clinton Kelly's book Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else from Modern Lady Etiquette. (If she could only see the wardrobe the Princess has deemed disastrous, I'm sure she would faint. Politely.)
The Princess and I have had many conversations since the arrival of that book - usually revolving around my need to read such a publication. When I turn the tables, and mention to her that altho she may not approve of my dress, there are many actions I don't particularly appreciate that she and her brother 'beasts take great delight in...the demand to "pull my finger" (or the lack of warning), the "booger wall" I recently came across (can you say, "eeeewwww"??), the previously discussed "Man Mission" they are on...the list is much longer than I can go into here.
No matter which flagrantly UNmannerly behavior I point out, in her mind there is nothing as horrible as my wardrobe. (May I just take a moment to quickly point out that all this wardrobe discussion is coming from a girl who wears orange, pink, purple, and red...all in the same outfit?? Or doesn't understand why I won't let her wear her pj's to school? Or thinks it is just fine to wear two different shoes to church??)
When the Princess is home sick - which she is quite often, due to her asthma - she likes to watch What Not to Wear. Throughout the show she'll call me upstairs repeatedly, shocked the woman featured hasn't been jailed due to her lackluster look. (In all fairness, some of these women go well beyond lackluster.) She is always quick to point out how I'm just as bad in my style choices. (Never mind I have a closet heaving with fantastic clothes I would love to wear, had my body not been wrecked by this illness.)
I got on the computer the other day, looking for an old email I had sent, when I came across something vedy intedesting. Before I share it with you, I have to tell you that as soon as I saw what it was, I knew where it came from.
I waited for her to get home from school before bombarding her with questions. The story goes something like this...she was at home, sick, and watching What Not to Wear. (Of course, I was running up and down the stairs at a speed rarely seen by creatures other than roadrunners, trying to meet her "requests" [demands] for more sick-related items than one usually needs after open heart surgery.) An announcement at the end of the show caught her eye...which I imagine went something like, "If you know someone who could benefit from an intervention from Clinton and Stacy, whose wardrobe SUCKS OUT LOUD and causes you actual pain to look at them, then contact us!" This was all she needed. The battle cry had been launched and she quickly sprung to action.
With very little Internet experience, she admits to getting on the computer - and instead of sticking to her list of pre-approved sites, she ventured out (ALONE!) into the world wide web. She actually found tlc.com - the channel hosting What Not to Wear - and even more than that, found the show information. Not satisfied, she went on to search around tlc.com further - and amazingly found an email address for the show. She's never done anything like this before (to my knowledge) - and her tenacity floors me.
I never would have known she took it this far, had I not been looking for that email I sent several months ago. Ever since I found out what she did, she has asked me - no fewer than twice a day- if I've heard anything from Stacy or Clinton. Happily, my answer is always no...but what if that suddenly changes?? How many 9 year olds do you know who would carry things this far??
Without anymore conversation, I will share with you the email I found. I don't even know what else to say about it. Life with the childebeasts is never dull. That's for sure!
This is the actual email the Princess sent to someone at TLC. Can you imagine??
my mom needs a NEW wardrobe. she has a tragical wardrobe. help my mom. my mom needs new clothes. she always wears sweat pants and t shirts. and the t shirts are disgusting! she has nothing thats fancy. well nothing fancy that fits her. she needs new clothes. definitely new clothes. all she sleeps in is a t shirt and boxers. she needs help! she dyed her hair RED. she needs new clothes. help me. help my mom. help my mom get new clothes. my mom's name is katherine. she needs help. BAD.