Ok, so this is quickly turning into some sort of emotional break down blog...but if you follow along with it long enough, one of two things is bound to happen. Either you will witness - firsthand - my complete and total mental collapse...or I will get back to art. They both have an equal chance - and who knows...I'm a mom...I'm good at multi-tasking. Maybe I'll wind up producing art from an institution??
Today is another crap day. I don't feel good at all and nothing is going right. I just want to know when this health stuff is going to wrap up. I never thought I would feel 92 at my age. I know my kids (and their friends) think I'm ancient, but in the scheme of things, I'm really not.
I know, waah, waah, waah! I know there are others who have it worse...and still others who have it better. And it's not my place to judge why people get certain obstacles to overcome. But GEEZ! Sometimes I get in the frame of mind where I want to judge - why is that person, who is totally rude and incredibly undeserving, have _____? Or why doesn't that person, who so deserves good things, not have _____? Which all brings me back to best friend.
I know it's been a really long time since I talked about best friend. To make a long story short, she's back in my town. She's still in total isolation and I can't see her - and she's not supposed to have a phone. But she has some how managed to sneak in a cell phone. (Makes me laugh to think of how she does this stuff!) I've spoken to her a few times - we have to be careful so she isn't caught by the nurses, but we've still spoken. And it's weird - even though she was unconscious for almost 2 years and we didn't get to talk, the first time she called it was like no time had passed at all. (Maybe that's a huge hint that I need to get a life??) She is still not well - she is still extremely weak, has therapy most days and is bedridden. She cracked me up when she said her arms don't really work - well then how does she use the phone?? Maybe that mental picture - and the hilarity of it - is lost on those who don't know best friend.
She is so awesome - and I mean that in every sense of the word. She is in extreme pain all the time - bone pain - and the medications aren't enough to cut the pain. But to talk to her, you would never know she's in all that pain or that she's probably never leaving the hospital. Her outlook is as positive as ever and she remains the funniest person I've ever met.
So there's the question for the day...how can some people be in her horrible situation and remain so positive and sweet...and then other people (who will remain nameless) have it all and not realize it? He probably won't read this...which really doesn't matter...but he knows who he is.
I just don't get it.