The Dryer Didn't Shrink It

So my mom and I have big issues - and haven't spoken in several months. Not one word. I still allow her to pick up the kids and do things with them, and last weekend she picked up the Princess to spend some time with her. (I don't involve the kids in grown up crap business - they need to spend time with their grandparents...almost as much as I need a sanity break.)

She picked up the Princess for some "girl time", and they did all things girl. Shopping, eating at Nordstrom's Tea Room, etc. I talked to the Princess Saturday afternoon and she was having a great time - and we made plans for her to be home Sunday.

When she walked in the door, she looked like this:

But I sent her down like this:

Would anyone else be mad at such an unauthorized transformation? Because I'm really annoyed pissed that my 9 year old was returned to me with such a drastic change - without being consulted first. The only good thing? The Princess donated the 8" of hair to Locks of Love.

What's your opinion? Would you be angry if your child came home from visiting someone - and had a drastically different look? Leave a comment with your thoughts - I can't wait to hear them.


9 Royal Responses:

Dorothy said...

You are a great mom when my daughter and I fight she does the same thing and never involves the kids or my being able to take them..thus my lady you are a queen as for the change she looks pretty cute to me and it's only on the outside focus on keeping her happy and smiley on the inside. She looked pretty secure returning to mommy and that's important..

hugs grammy from grammology

ps I often don't like my daughter however, I always love her..hope it's the same for you...

Anonymous said...

You know, Kathrine...if my daughter was the one behind it (meaning that she was the one that wanted her hair cut), I would be all for it, especially with the Locks of Love thing and all. If your mother was the one behind it and the Princess reallllly didn't want to get it done, I would be so pissed! The only thing that should save that situation is the Locks thing. This has happened with my daughter's father a few times through the years...I send her with hair, she comes back with none, but the hair was donated. However, Tayelor always tells me she was the one who wanted to do it, so I don't have a problem with it.

Lin said...

Ugh. I, too, have a difficult relationship with my mom and there oftentimes that months, perhaps years, that we can go without speaking. I have pretty much disconnected with her emotionally because of this. Yes, I would be really mad about the haircut--she crossed the line of authority there and she knows it. She is using your daughter as a pawn in that situation, but what to do?? I guess you have to file that one away for now, and tell your daughter how absolutely adorable she is. The alternative is to continue the battle through your child, which isn't fair to her.

I guess the next time that she comes to pick her up, I'd clarify that there is to be no future changes to her appearance without your approval or she won't be able to take her without a chaperone who respects that. You are still the mom of the child and you have that right. When your daughter asks why, you have to say that you have to make sure Grandma respects the family rules. There is nothing wrong with that.

Mom is apparently looking for some attention from you or she wouldn't have done that, don't you think?

Good luck. If you figure this out, you'll have to clue me in. I'll keep my fingers crossed for us both in the meantime. Hang in there, pally!

Ann said...

Count me in as one of the ones who doesn't get along well with their mother. I'm with Lin, I would be pissed off. Yes it's only hair, and yes maybe your daughter was the one who wanted to get it cut but you are the mom and you should have been consulted.

drknlvly6781 said...

I would be so heated! In fact, this has happened to me before. My brother thought it would be funny to cut a mohawk in my son's head. Of course he hyped his head up so he loved the cut, but it was ugly. I tried to get him to cut the rest of the hair off, but his excuse was "All kids have that one haircut that their parents didn't want them to get!" I would have agreed if my son was the one to ask for it, but he didn't even know what one was until my brother told him. Everyone in the house was laughing at me, saying I was overreacting to the situation, but it really made me feel powerless as to my children's lives. This is one of the minor reasons why I moved out of my grandmother's house and into my own.

One Creative Queen said...

I'd be jumping for joy if anyone could get my daughter to cut her hair.  She doesn't take care of it and she always looks unkempt.  It's impossible to get her to go for a haircut.  Sorry to be the lone vote for the haircut.  On the other hand, if my daughter didn't have these issues with her hair, I probably would be pretty angry about the makeover.  It's not really her place.  Unless of course she offered to take her for a girls day complete with a makeover.

One Creative Queen said...

If my daughter made the decision or was thrilled with Grandma's suggestion to cut the hair and donate the locks, I would be okay with it. If Grandma did it just to get a reaction, I'd be pissed off, too. Fortunately my Mom and I have a good relationship. It hasn't always been so but many years ago when she tried to control me with snide remarks, etc. I told her that I was through trying to make her happy and was going to make ME happy for a change and if SHE had a problem with that, too bad, I didn't want to hear about it, it was HER problem and she would just have to learn how to deal with it. No more remarks after that and we get along wonderfully now! I've learned that approach works well with anyone who tries to make their issues mine. I've also learned to choose my battles wisely - it takes far too much energy to be pissed off all the time. Big hugs, girl!

Anonymous said...

I would be very upset at the wrongful assumption of authority. And, unlike others, it would NOT be okay with me if it were the 9 yo's idea. In the first place, I don't consider a 9 yo old enough to have the right to that decision. Secondly, I would feel hurt that the 9 yo didn't have a good enough relationship to have talked it over with me if it was her desire to have the hair cut.

But mostly, I would be upset at Grandma overstepping her bounds, and there would be some trust issues as a result. Thankfully, neither my mom nor my MIL would ever consider something that drastic!

Entourage Edge said...

So cute!!!!.... I loved this post.....

Cute fights of mom and daughter.

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