My Fear for the Future

I saw this online the other day.

She is actually wearing spools of ribbon as earrings.

Like the look on her face isn't scary enough.

Which got me thinking.

She seems to be about 40 years older than I am.

I really love art and crafts. And embellishments. A lot.

And...Naaahhh.

I'm going to wind up surrounded by cats.

And she doesn't have any. But maybe you just can't see them. The picture is really close up.

I hope there's no resemblance.

Know what I mean?

xx

Weathered Metal ATC Art Swap

It's Friday...congratulations, you made it through the week!

I participated in a really fun art swap recently. Well, it would have been a little less recently had the Postal Service not annihilated the envelope carrying my awesome art...but once I received the battered and seriously beaten envelope back in my mailbox, I quickly changed everything into fresh new Postal duds, and got it mailed out again. There were six of us in this swap, generously hosted by Susan from Florida. If you know Susan, you know she does delicious work - and this is no exception. She participated in the Technique Fat Book Swap I was in - and the technique she submitted is way yum! It's one of my favorites...but don't tell anyone. Both the "Weathered Metal Technique" and the "Bubble Wrap/Plastic Painted Background" are so easy...and the results are spectacular!

Bubble Wrap/Plastic Painted Background
by Susan

Here are the results I got from playing with the Weathered Metal Technique.

These are the plain ATCs I created with the technique. It's "metal foil tape" and several colors of acrylic paint, sanded and distressed with a tracing wheel. I also drew "into" the tape with an embossing stylus before applying paint.

I took a piece of watercolor paper I had doodled poorly on - and painted it with Twinkling H2Os for my background paper.

The actual paper I used for the backs of my ATCs ended up being darker. I had cut the paper above down to ATC size (2 1/2" x 3 1/2") and used my Italian glass blown dip pen to write my information. I don't know what was up with the ink I tried to use (old?) - but it was awful! Globs, blobs, no ink...it was just a mess. So I had to start over - and quickly doodles on another piece of watercolor paper, before painting it with Twinkling H2Os that were apparently darker. I like how the second one turned out just as well, though.

I used my Souffle pens to write all my information on the back. Loooove 'em! They don't "stick up" or "pouf" as much as I would like - but I still think it's a cool concept...and the results aren't bad, either. I use my Souffle pens and my Glaze pens A LOT. They write on almost anything - and I like that Souffle pens are opaque, while the Glaze is glossy...almost resembling stained glass. You can mix colors (while the ink is still wet) and get new colors - or wait until the ink has set up (dried) and lay down a different color ink over the first. (I say sometimes because sometimes you just end up peeling up the first color - and it makes a mess.)

After torturing, um, I mean distressing, the painted metal tape (before and after painting it), I stitched different colored sparkly threads all over each ATC. Then I stitched sizes 6/0, 8/0, and 11/0 seed beads on them - in varying colors and patterns. Each ATC also has a little blue MOP bird fetish bead - and several vintage Swarovski sew-on crystals, acrylic crystals, and vintage flower cabs. As a final touch, I added a metal word. The word on each card is written above it.

Click for a larger view to open in another window.

I made a seventh one but can't find it. The number of gremlins running off with things has increased. That's the only way I can explain losing so many things - especially when I just had whatever-it-is in my hand!

If anyone is interested in a more formal tutorial or supply list, leave a comment.

Have a super fantastic weekend!

xx

Six Days Later and A Birthday

December - 1998

Several things to blab about today. Tired of being held hostage on my computer, I'm back. With a vengeance. Silenced no more, much to most people's dismay. He cannot keep me quiet by messing with what I write (changing randomly to caps), closing my browser, changing my settings, or having random web pages show up when I'm trying to get somewhere else on the Net. Even changing my passwords won't work any more, and neither will locking me out of my email. I'm just done with the whole thing - and after dealing with his ridiculous and juvenile games, I'm getting a new computer. YAY! I'm not going to ramble on about this whole (very frustrating) topic, but I want to say two things.

1) If my typing randomly vascillates between caps and lower case letters, please ignore it. I know it's a pain and hard to read, but this is what I'm stuck with for now. I apologize for the bad behavior.

2) To those who are awesome enough to leave me comments about this whole situation, thank you! You guys are the best!

Drawing by the Princess

Let's move on to more interesting things...

Today, just ten days after my other son's birthday, is the oldest childebeasts birthday. It's crazy to me to think I became a mother 16 years ago today. Looking at him, I can't believe anyone allowed me to become a mom so young. I was only 3 years older than he is when I had him. Who decided it would be a good idea for a 19 year old - who had never even held a newborn - to take home a baby and care for him?? Now, quite a bit older and (one or two would say) a little wiser, I look at 19 year olds and wonder what was going through my mind. Maybe the answer is, nothing. I apparently had nothing in my head - which is why I had him so young.

"Trouble" at 1 month
(I couldn't find his newborn picture)

He was such a cute lil' guy - weighing 8 lbs, 8 oz, and 21 inches long, he was a big baby. The way he situated himself during my pregnancy meant he was born with the left side of his face all scrunched up. For the first few weeks of his life we called him "Popeye" - because his left eye was always closed...and well, he grunted. Popeye eventually morphed into "Grog", a nickname given to him by one of my best friend's grannies. Grog came about because he was always either in the 100th percentile for his age - or above. He was huge. A monstrosity. (No wonder I gained over 100 lbs with him!) He was always chubby...and he always grunted. It was really cute - so Grog seemed appropriate.

Monkey Boy at around 2

I should have known, way back then, that he was going to be a handful. It took 30 hours of induction (and more pitocin than my OB said he'd ever given anyone before - and he was like 90! lol) before he made his grand entrance. He took 3 heaping tablespoons of rice cereal in 8 oz of formula, every 4 hours...like clock work...when he was just 5 days old. On solids at 2 months. At his 3 month check-up he weighed in at around 30 lbs. People thought he was much older than he was.

Cute little guy, huh?

He was always ahead of schedule...sitting up and crawling early, he could walk at 9 months. He could talk - in complete sentences - at 12 months. And at one point during his 13th month, he woke up one morning and said, "Peepee in potty"...and that was it. He never wore a diaper again.

Pictures around his first five birthdays

Two friends of mine had babies within a few months of me having him...and I secretly thought their kids were slow - and my kid was better. HA Little did I know God was just trying to tell me that I was going to have a tough time keeping up with this kid. The only kid I've had who smeared doodie all over his crib, the walls, and himself. The only kid I've had who took my VCR apart...before his second year of pre-school - which he entered when he was 4. The only kid I've had who tried to make something to eat - and opened a 10 lb bag of flour. ALL over the apartment I had at the time. These - and many, many, many - "events" occurred during naptime...so we gave up naps when he was 4. I couldn't take it anymore.

One would think his antics activities energy would scare me enough to not have more. HA again! I had my second ten days before this one turned 3. This was the summer he chose to talk two little girls into taking off their shirts...at Vacation Bible School. When the teacher came over to scold him (and tell the girls to put their shirts back on), he ran off with their shirts...directly to a mud puddle...and dropped in the shirts, stomping and jumping on them until the teacher could pick him up and move him. (I had to go get him early...and they politely asked me not to bring him back.) Fast forward several years...he got my Victoria's Secret catalog...and took it to school to share it with anyone and everyone who cared to look. (That was his first suspension.) I'll stop with the fond memories there.

He eventually got older...and my hair got grayer. Don't get me wrong - he's a great 'beast. But even now, you cannot trust him alone with the camera. You think I'm gonna let him get his license??

He is a pretty handsome little dude...(even if he won't mug for pictures I take)

Handsome enough to take two girls to Homecoming! (Is this really what high school girls wear now? Don't they seem to be missing the rest of their dresses?? And how much make up can one person slap on?? Bright colors, sparkles, blue eye shadow on one of them, bright pink lips on the other...is this necessary?? Or am I really that old now?)

And finally, his infamous picture that will grace Hallmark cards everywhere.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, big guy! You may be 5'10" (which is shorter than his younger brother now), and an amazing 220 and all muscle, but I'm still your mama - and I can still say, "because I said so, that's why!!!". At least for a few more years.

And about the Hallmark thing...I'm trying to come up with a contest for the person who buys the most of his cards. We so NEED to win this contest! I haven't decided what to come up with as a prize yet...but I am working on it! We are presently #51 out of 60...so we're not doing very well. We need your help!!! Please don't make a Queen beg...

xx

Friday Frustrations Meme

It's late - but not too late. It's 10:36 pm and I have something to say, a "Friday Frustration". I've seen the meme - but now, for the live of me I can't remember who has it posted. I suppose one can't have beauty and brains...so I'll have to settle for a nicely polished crown, since I have neither.

*EDIT: After searcHinG fOr OVER AN HOUR<> IT"S OVeR ON CONVERSATIONSWITHMOM>COm. (sEE WHAT I mean about him meSSING WIth mY TYpINg??) Anyway, THANK YOU, cONVerSAtIONSWITHMOM>COM _ I APPRECIATE YOU COMING UP WITH THIS MEme!!

I am perturbed. Not the I'm-annoyed-but-will-get-over-it kind - the I-want-to-jack-someone-up sort. There is a difference. A big difference.

I have been dealing with an ex...ex what? Boyfriend sounds so silly at my age. Especially when that "boyfriend" was married. (Oh, the drama!) So we'll just call him ex I guess. I've been dealing with this ex doing crazy things to mess with me. And not in the good sense of the word, the kind that surrounds me in life. I'm talking criminally insane type things.

He has hacked into my computer. AGAIN. He apparently thinks this is quite funny...I don't. I think it's sad that a 40-something year old man gets his kicks by silently logging into my computer (and without permission, I might add) and screwing around like a 5 year old.

I will get on my computer and start to type something, only to have him remotely control my computer - and randomly change things as I type. For example, I'll be typing along...and some of my letters (or portions of my sentences) will have the caps lock on. But I didn't touch the caps lock button. Or I'll suddenly - mysteriously - be kicked off the Internet. Or my settings will be changed - so when I click on one bookmark, the entire folder of bookmarks opens. When 20 or 30 bookmarks try to open at once, the computer just clogs up and freezes. I have to turn the whole system off and start over. But the little window that pops up - the one that says "Your last Firefox session closed unexpectedly...Would you like to return there?" or whatever it says, just taunts me. I can't go back to where I was - because not only is the tab open that I want open, so are 500 others.

He's made it so I can't get my email open - Gmail tells me there is a pop-up blocker on my system and I have to remove it before I can open email. Nice.

Now he's made it so everything I click on opens in a new window. Not in the same tab, like it should - and not even in a new tab. It's a whole new window. So I have 372 windows open before I know it.

I have a feeling he's behind the whole system crash I experienced. He knows I'm not the most adept computer person...and he is. So he's got me there.

What I don't understand is why. Why would someone do this? It's crazy to me that you can "supposedly" love someone, then result to irritating them in such juvenile ways. When a relationship is over, it's over. I have no hate for the person - it's more of a...a...nothingness. I really cared for this guy at one point - and was hoping we could remain friends. That seems almost impossible at this point. I don't want to participate in ridiculous games...I don't perpetrate them and don't want to be on the receiving end. I haven't done anything to deserve this. I have not contacted him - and haven't "egged" him on. We are in different states...1,000 miles apart...I have my life, my kids, my craziness...he has his wife, his kids, and whatever he's up to. What prompts someone to sct like this? (Maybe it's my exceptional beauty? My magical personality? The blinding shine on my crown??)

I was going to ignore all this - and hope it goes away. But the last straw happened when I found a comment from "Anonymous". It was totally inappropriate. And gross. And completely disrespectful. I have removed it (so there's no use trying to find it lol) - but am concerned about what he'll do next. I want him to move on. To find happiness. To spend his time doing things that fill his life with purpose - not calculating how to hurt, or inconvenience, me or anyone else. This has been going on for...I don't even know how long. Many months. Going way back to several years ago, when we were together, and he put a keylogger on my computer. I was angry - not only for the lack of privacy (I am an adult...with no rings on my fingers...the last I checked) but also because the keylogger caused me to lose the job I had at the time.

Ok. I suppose I've vented enough. I'm just tired of this whole thing. I think once a relationship is over, that's it. Done. Maintaining a sort of friendship is fine (if both parties want that) - but it's no longer the other person's business what you're doing. I'm not speaking out of both sides of my mouth - I don't think it's any of my concern what he's doing, either.

And onto other subjects...the Farrah Fawcett...movie? Show? Biography? Documentary? just ended - and I was surprised at how much I liked it and was affected by it. I think it gave great insight into a cancer battle - and was more honest and raw than I expected. If you missed it and have the chance to see it in a re-run, I would recommend it. I was doing other things while it was on, so I didn't sit glued to the TV, but I never do. I can't sit and just watch a movie or TV show. I have to be on the computer, cleaning, working on art, etc while I watch. I'm too fidgety to just sit still.

What do you think - about crazy ex's? Have you had an ex that wouldn't let go? What is the most "unstable" thing an ex has inflicted on you? Did you watch Farrah? If so, what did you think? If not, why? (Could it be that you have a life and actually go out, or do something on Friday night??) I'd love to know!

PS - IF I disappear, it's because he's done something else to my computer. Nice that I have to say that, isn't it??

Where is that meme???

xx

I'd Rather Have Coffee

Thursday
6:30 am
After waking up childebeasts, I have fallen asleep (sitting up in bed) after being up all night due to back pain.

#1: Being played by middle son, the one who just turned 13 earlier this week.
#2: Played by the Princess, my 9 year old daughter.
Queen: Er...umm...I'll be playing myself.

Squeak

Queen: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
#1: Mom! MOM! MOOOOOMMMMMM!!! (Screaming like a girl)
Queen: Huh? What? (Thinking house is on fire while in sleep stupor)
#1: OH MY GOSH!! MOOOMM!!! COME HEEERRREEE!!
Queen: (Walks to top of stairs, dreading what I'll find after hearing that scream) What? What's wrong? (#2 is right on my heels)
#1: MOM! Squeak is HUMPING Noodles.
Queen: (Caught totally off-guard) What???
#1: Mom, Squeak is HUMPING Noodles.

Noodles

(Cat moans/screeches)
Queen: What?? What's going on down there?? (Beginning to descend stairs)
#1: Mom, HURRY!! Get Squeak OFF Noodles!
Queen: (Hits bottom stair just in time to see one cat mounting the other) What the...???
#1: Mom, they are HUMPING.
(#2 is following Queen downstairs, but literally stops in her tracks as she reaches the bottom stair)
Queen: Oh my gosh...#1, what do we do?? (Why do I seek advice from my children in times like this??)
#1: We have to get them apart. MOM!! HELP!! They...are...HUMPING.
(Note: He keeps repeating the word "humping" - saying it really loudly - with a sort of staccato effect.)
Queen: Well, I don't know what to do!! Help me! (Looks more closely at very unmodest cats) I'm not pulling him off! YOU do it!
#1: I'm not touching them...Mom, get them apart.
(More cat moaning/screeching)
Queen: Squeakers! Come here RIGHT NOW Squeak!! She's your SISTER! Oh my word. What are you DOING? SQUEAK!!
#1: That isn't working, Mom - Pull him off!!
Queen: No! You do it!
#1: NO! You're the Mom!!
Queen: But I'm not a vet! I don't know what to do! SQUEAK!! Get OFF your SISTER!!
#1: Yeah, Squeak! Quit HUMPING your sister!
Queen: (Approaches cats carefully, wishing I was anywhere but here) #1, I'm going to pull him backwards - then you grab Noodles and take her upstairs, ok?
#1: Ok, but HURRY! They are HUMPING!!
Queen: I know that. Get ready! (Queen hesitantly touches Squeak while saying...) Come on, Squeak! Help me out here - GET OFF!! (pause for a few seconds) OH NO!! (Queen does whole body shake) I can see his...
#1: His what???
Queen: Just HELP ME! (Not knowing what else to do, begins running at Squeak)
#1: Ok, good! They aren't HUMPING anymore!!
Queen: Well GRAB Noodles!! Squeak, stay there!! Leave her ALONE!!
#1: I don't want to touch Noodles - she was just HUMPED!!
Queen: Suck it up - take her upstairs. NOW!
#1: NO!!!
Queen: Man up, #1! Do you want him to do that to her again?? I! DO! NOT! WANT! MORE! KITTENS!!
#1: Why not?
Queen: Just take Noodles upstairs! (While glaring at #1 for even asking that question)

Cats are separated by my bedroom door. Things finally quiet down.

#2: (Ten minutes later, she's been totally silent. While eating Fruity Pebbles...) Mom, what's HUMPING??

xx