Today is my DILMM. Now Do You Understand?

Do you have a DILMM?

For years, April 26th has been my least favorite day of the year, excluding holidays. It isn't fair, I suppose - April 26th seems innocuous enough. Most people would choose to hate April 15th much more...but not me.

April 26th is a day I'm not sure if I should celebrate or curse - which is why I have despised it for the last 10 or so years. I know I'm supposed to celebrate December 31 - and believe me, I do. Even if it doesn't seem like it on the outside, I'm having my own internal party, I promise. (December 31st just happens to be the date my divorce was final.) But what about April 26th?

It was April 26, 2007 that I got married. Conflicting as it is, that date ranks in the top 5 of the days in my life when I've had the most fun. My friends had a blast. It still ranks very highly as one of the best weddings any of us has ever been to. Call it the premarriage jitters which led us to sneak out the back of the church and down the little bottles of Cuervo the gal at the liquor store gave us. Or maybe it was just the way all the people involved got along so well, and just meshed. (How often does that happen to a group of 20 or so? Especially when the ages of the group members spans at least 25 years? And at a wedding. no less?) Or maybe it was that everyone knew I had poured my heart and soul into the event (not to mention every single penny he and I had, including the money we got for temporarily pawning his truck!), and they were not about to cross the Queen on her wedding day? (Ok, that one makes me laugh - since I'm so not a diva...and I didn't become the Queen until several years later, when my daughter was born and instantly sanctioned "Princess".) Or maybe it's just that I have some really fantastic friends. Maybe it was a combination of all those things. Whatever the reason(s), it was a fantastic day.

However, it was still the day I got married. Which makes it a day of sincere regret and remorse. I won't go into any of the messy details, but I will tell you that after being together for several years - 1 1/2 of those as a married couple - my then-husband decided a different way. Nothing at all wrong with being gay...but definitely a problem when you're a man and you marry a woman who has two kids. I may get spanked on this, but it becomes wrong in my eyes when the person knows they are gay before they make a marital commitment to someone of the opposite sex...who already has two kids. There was another reason for our divorce - but truly, I will spare you.

So. We're twelve years out of this thing (which frankly, I can't believe!!) - and I'm still not sure how to "treat" April 26. For the last ten years I have loathed this date...but that all seems sort of silly now. My ex no longer peppers my conversations - or my thoughts. We have both moved on - which is good - and I really don't ever want to see him again. So why hold this date hostage with such disdain?

No one tells you how you're supposed to feel about dates like this. To my knowledge, there isn't even a Hallmark card for the occasion. (I could make one for them. lol) It isn't discussed by anyone - but millions of people have dates like this in their history...and there is no way I am the only one who feels funny about the date. I have no idea what it would be called...I only know it's bound to make life easier for tons of people. For the sake of argument, let's call it DILMM. (Day I Lost My Mind) Naming it would be helpful for lots of reasons. For example:

You walk into work one day and notice your co-worker is down. You don't know this person real well but are friendly with them.
"Hey Sally, what's wrong? You seem down." "Hi Barb. It's my DILMM today." "Oh, Sally, I can so understand. Can I do anything?"

Or, imagine this scenario:

Hello? Hey Patti! What's up girl? Hey Sarah, not much. How are you? Great! Do you have plans on Friday? Umm none that I can think of. Why? What's up? It's my DILMM and I want to party - let's go out! Right on, girl! My DILMM is in 2 weeks - we'll celebrate both of them! Very cool!

See what I mean?

So I have made up my mind that I have punished April 26th long enough. It's no fun to be down or have hate/anger in your heart...I'm going to celebrate April 26th from now on. After all, it's officially the DILMM!

What do you think...would you celebrate or despise your DILMM?

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post: Entrecard Creativity

4 Royal Responses:

Stacie's Madness said...


and cheers to DILMM day! Which could be everyday for me....but that's another story. :)

~Jamie said...

I KNEW I was losing my mind on the DILMM. It's been almost 10 years now since the big D. I'm the first one in my family to get a big D so it used to bother me a lot. Now neither the DILMM wedding day or the DIGBMM- D day bother me! (day I got my mind back). THanks for the post!

Carol said...

After 57 years dates come and go. I had one of those wedding dates but soon forgot it because it was not ruling me. Now it lives no longer and will not rule me. So come alive and live a good life as Queen.

One Creative Queen said...

@ Stacie - I so know that feeling! The 'beasts are in full force these days!

@ Jamie - Girl, I understand. But look at it this way - no matter what the fam thinks, you DO have your mind back. And you look mahvelous having lost all that weight! ;)

@ Carol - Wow. 57 years? And you don't look a day over 29! Thanks for the great words - I will do just that. :)


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